Meant To Be

When I look into your eyes,
I know how you feel.
We were meant to be together,
Right from the start.

You make me feel so protected and loved,
Like no one else ever could do.
You are my life, my love, my soulmate,
And without you I could not exist.

You are in my dreams and thoughts,
Every minute of every day.
I could never be satisfied with another.
We were meant to be together.

You have changed my life,
Like I thought no one could ever do.
You make me smile,
And my body comes alive when you are near.

In my heart there's only room for you,
I don't know what else to say.
You are meant for me and me for you,
Let's start our future together as one.

I refuse to let go of what we have,
Because it is magical in every way.
It's all because I love you, baby,
In every possible way.

Eternal Love

Listening to your heartbeat as I lay in your arms
Talking hour after hour, never tiring of the sound of your voice
The feel of your lips against my skin
The touch of your hand, a soft caress
The look in your eyes as you gaze at me
The smile on your face as we walk hand in hand
The complete perfection and perfect completion
The love that I feel and the love that you give
Laying in your arms, my head on your chest
Surrounded by you
Your love. Your smell. Your touch. Your sound. All of you.
So close, so perfect, so right
Sitting beside you, holding your hand
Watching you instead of the movie
Feeling your arm around me, keeping me close
Holding me tight, keeping me safe
Promise to never let me go...

Losing You

Her smile flashes before my eyes
As I try to hold onto the memories.
I keep reaching to touch her sweet lips
But I find her only in my dreams.

I really haven't accepted the thought
That she won't be with me tonight.
And the closest that I'll get to her,
Is holding her pillow tight.

She didn't love me enough to stay,
And I love her too much to let go.
Just one more time to say how I feel,
Although I'm pretty sure she already knows.

I know that we were meant to be,
No matter where she is right now.
If only she could be here one more night,
I'd make her stay somehow.

You never know just what you have
Until you lose your heart.
When she decides it's time to leave,
You have to love apart.

How Can I Tell You?

How can I tell you how much you mean to me?
How can I even tell you that you are my every dream?
What could I give
To make you see
The love that I have for you is the soul within me?
Every single day I live and breathe for you
You are my sunshine and my moon
You are the reason the flowers
Will continue to bloom
The stars in the sky
The reason why birds fly
How could I have put a price
On the only thing that gives me life?
I love you completely with all of me
Baby, just look at me and see
That you are the one for me
You are the one that has set my life free.

Your Love

Your love
Like a dove
Deep as a river
Slick like a snakes slither
Peaceful
Deep
Ever flowing
Bright
I'm blinded by love
Your love
Stuck with one of a kind
Loving it
Your love
Soaring
Like an eagle
Humming
Like a hummingbird
Fun
Like a carnival
Your love
Is your love

When I Dream

Every time I close my eyes
There you are
Like an angel
From afar.

When I feel sad
And can't make it through
I just close my eyes
And dream of you.

For at that moment
When you're on my mind
All the worries of this world
I leave behind.

I have only one dream
That I need to come true
I need to spend the rest
Of my life just holding you.

You & Me

I'm sitting here alone in my room
Thinking about the times we've been through
I'm looking at a picture in my hand
Trying to understand
I really want to know what we did wrong
With a love that felt so strong
If only you were here tonight
I know that we could make things right
I know you've been a fool since you've been gone
I almost gave up and carried on
Because living in a world dreaming of you and me
Is not the way my life should be
I don't want to cry after you
But please forgive me if I do
I don't know how to live without your love
Because you're the only one within my heart
Always and forever, you and me
That's the way our life should be
I'd do anything - I'd give you my world
I'd wait forever just to be your girl
Just call out my name and I will be there
Just to show you how much I still care.

Sweet Savor

Your heart is racing,
You can't catch your breath,
Your skin is on fire,
Feeling like you will explode,
That almighty rush,
Every cell of your being just burning,
A power that can't be controlled.

Leaning you up against the wall,
My hands longing to trace your every inch,
A kiss that is rushed, fervent and long,
Stealing your gasp,
So that I may breathe,
Your face clutched in my hands,
A kiss, deep and hard; feel my need.

No soft, sweet caresses tonight,
As our passions take a hold,
Our whole bodies throbbing,
Light-headed, somewhat dizzy,
The all-consuming intensity,
I am simply intoxicated,
With the sweet taste of you.

Things Aren't What They Seem

We have come so far in both our lives
The paths we walked took us seperate ways
I sit here quietly late at night
And I wonder where you are right now
As I think about all the times we shared
A cloud of sorrow fills my heart
I can't believe I let you do the things you did
I can't believe I lost control

Time is great for healing many wounds
But the tear you made still cuts me so deep
I have tried so hard to make your image disappear
But you just keep on haunting me
Every time I close my eyes I see your face
You're a bad dream that never goes away
I catch myself still calling your name
Your poison's still eating me away

I thought that I knew you
I thought that you would change
I thought that I loved you
Things aren't what they seem
I thought that you wanted me
I thought we could make it
I thought that you loved me
But things aren't what they seem

Better Day

As the night closes in,
The shadows begin to fall,
There's a pain in my heart,
Numbness cuts right through.
With every tear that I weep,
I lose another piece of me,
How much more can one girl take?
There's nothing here to take no more.

I see your face in my mind,
As the sun falls from the sky,
I feel your lips on my mouth,
Slowly chewing up my soul.
With every breath that I take,
You slowly stifle me,
Just what is it that I do
To make you want to break me so?

You go through life destroying what you find,
Like a hurricane, you tear it up and spit it out,
You go through life not regretting what you do,
Like a cannon ball, you rip right through.
I'm not going to take much more; you're making me crazy, baby,
You're pushing me too far and my head is about to explode,
Stand up, get out, close the door; I don't want this anymore,
Take your things and get out of my way so somewhere I can find me a better day.

Not so Princessy after all....

Hehe...here we have "Princess" Mischa not looking her usual majestic self...lol. Just goes to show that even the most regal of characters have a wild side about them!!! Bless her :-D

Band Photo Shoot - 02/20/2009

I play drums in a metal band, and here follows the results of a day in front of the camera!!! Yeah, they allowed me out from behind my drums for a while, and they even took off my chains for the pics...lol




This is my favorite pic from the shoot - don't I got attitude!?! Hehe!



Another one of my favorite pics from the shoot! Not so much attitude here - more like are we done yet kinda look going on right here...lmao




Hmmm...yeah...not too sure what I was actually trying to get with this pic...I think it went along the mean and moody line. Still, it ain't bad, right? LOL.







Well...I actually kinda like this one! Mean and moody yet again though, huh? ;-)

Snow, snow, and yet more flippin' snow!!!

So how does one keep the chilly winter nights at bay? Get yourself a rather large cat named Lucifer and problem solved!!!

Ah, the kitty blanket - what a joy to behold!!! ;-)

Mischa & Lucifer

Here is the latest photo of Lucifer looking all lionesque and handsome!















And here we have Princess Mischa in a rare pose for the camera, albeit a somewhat shy and retiring pose!

Men ytterligare kamp ...

Varför är det så att precis när du tror att allt är väl, att det finns alltid någon som vill prova att knulla allt för dig? Ursäkta mitt språk, men egentligen finns det alltid några dumma jävel som vill prova och stå i vägen när allting går bra för dig. Tack, jag talar inte om allt som har hänt i mitt liv, utan snarare som en nära vän till mig.

Allt i mitt liv är underbart och ljust, och jag vet att jag är den lyckligaste kvinnan i livet att ha hittat kärleken som jag och Cindy aktie tillsammans. Jag älskar dig, Cindy ... alltid och för evigt. Du kommer aldrig veta precis hur jag känner för dig älskling, eftersom orden bara har inte uppfunnits ännu. Det finns inga ord vackra nog att beskriva hur mitt hjärta klappar för dig, eller hur min kropp längtar efter din beröring ...

Changes

Tja, det har varit en tid sedan jag senast postat en bloggpost, så jag tyckte det var dags att göra det nu. Så mycket har hänt i mitt liv sedan jag senast skrev om här, både bra och dåliga. För det mesta har det bra ändå.

I början av oktober 2008, mitt livs kärlek, Cindy, lämnade Storbritannien att återvända hem till USA för att så att hon kunde ta ett föräldraskap klass för hennes förestående skilsmässa går igenom. Hon var bara tänkt att ha legat under 10 dagar, men hon snart kommer att vara ex-man beslutat att hon var tillåtet att ha kontakt med sina barn, och Cindy beslutat att hon inte kunde lämna henne pojkar igen. Många månader att inte veta vad min framtid som hölls strax därpå - månader som jag aldrig vill att min värsta fiende att leva igenom. Så många känslor, så mycket skada och smärta. Vi är både känslomässigt dränerad.

Eftersom att vi har bortsett passerade, Cindy kom att inse att hon inte vill leva utan mig i hennes liv och så hennes beslut att återvända till Storbritannien under 2009 gjordes. Jag antar att beslutet var cement som har hållit vårt förhållande tillsammans under denna svåra tid. Bara att veta att min sanna kärlek kom tillbaka till mig gav mig styrka att gå vidare.

I slutet av november förra året beslutade jag att jag inte vill spendera julen ensam här i Storbritannien. Jag bestämde mig för att jag ville vara med Cindy och hennes pojkar för semesterresor, så jag bokade min flygbiljett till Kentucky. Cindy och pojkarna var överlycklig - särskilt Cindy! Det behöver inte sägas att även jag var överlycklig vid tanken på mig och Cindy äntligen att kunna vara tillsammans efter 3 långa månader.

Och så den 23 december gjorde jag min väg till flygplatsen och fångat ett plan till USA. I samma ögonblick som jag såg Cindy stå där på flygplatsen, jag visste i mitt hjärta att allt skulle vara fint. Sättet att hon tittade på mig, hur hon höll mig nära henne ... det gjorde alla sista lilla tvivel om att jag kan ha haft försvinner på ett ögonblick. Det sätt som hon kysste mig och gjorde söta älskar mig jag vet att vi bara var tänkt att alltid vara tillsammans, oavsett vilken försökt står i vår väg.

Och så nu här vi är - januari 2009 och mitt beslut har gjorts. Om sanningen skall känna, det fanns ingenting alls att tänka på. Jag vill vara med Cindy. Hon är min en sann kärlek, och jag älskar henne av hela mitt hjärta och själ tills jag inte längre kan andas hennes vackra namn. Livet ger inte så många fina chanser för kärleken att hända, men när den gör, måste du ta den med båda händerna och håll i dig, och låt inget eller ingen stå i din väg.

Och så nu här är jag - tillsammans igen med min älskling och lyckligare än en gris i skit! Detta liv kastar alla slags hinder i vår väg längs vägen, men det är att veta hur man bäst kan undvika och övervinna dem som får oss igenom tuffa tider. Tror på sann kärlek. Ta dig tid att tala om för personen du älskar precis vad de betyder för dig och varför. Aldrig vara rädd att säga hur du känner dig, och aldrig vara rädda för att ge upp allt för den person du älskar - det är chansen att livet du lämnar efter sig är inget i jämförelse med det nya liv du kommer att leda tillsammans med en sann kärlek.